Reminiscing about the wonderful things that have happened to us, can be an enjoyable thing. What if the past hasn’t been so great though, and we have experienced some deep wounds and the memories are not pleasant at all?
I meet people every day who are still dealing with the damage of past hurts. Addictive behaviour, anger, denial, and excessive indulgence in pleasure, are just some of the symptoms or a wounded life. Some spend their whole lives focusing and talking about their discontents, while others avoid even acknowledging the damage that has been done, or the deficit of affection that they should have received and didn’t.
Looking back and acknowledging that some things just weren’t right in our lives, can be therapeutic. However, when it defines who we are and changes our behaviour and state of happiness, it is damaging and pointless.
Crocodiles have eyes on the side of their heads, and can look backwards. Maybe that’s why they cry crocodile tears. Human beings have eyes in front of their heads which look forward, indicating the direction and focus we were created for.
Hurting people often hurt people… How many souls fail to enjoy current relationships, their lives and their achievements, because of their constant rear guarding. Psychologists call this analysis paralysis. The past should never define who we are. It has shaped our current status, but it is not our identity.
Moving on takes courage, honesty and a determination to let go. Its rewards however are a clean slate and a blank canvas on which to live our life today, and redefine the rest of our life’s success. Perhaps the Good Book is right when it says… Forgetting the things which are behind us, let us live the life which is in front of us. Phil 3:13
Remember you can’t build a happy life on a foundation of regrets. So live and let go, and redefine your newfound freedom and existence…
© Rui Coelho
