“Get over it” is the modern directive from insensitive but well-intentioned people. And we can get over most things, and move on from most of our hurts and neglect. Very few however get over personal rejection, whether it was intended by the perpetrator or not. A lack of Love has wounded and destroyed more people than the battlefields of war in history.
Addictive behaviour, anger, resentment, co-dependency and self-destruction, are just some of the symptoms of a wounded life. When you analyse the cause-and-effect relationship of these destructive behaviours, it usually leads back to a dysfunctional home life, where to some extent these people have been exploited by deeds that were either committed or omitted in their lives.
I meet great people who have some many wonderful things in their lives, but fail to enjoy any of them because a deep hurt that they carry, and yet may be unconscious of. Some try to fill their lives with achievements, affiliations, control and pleasure, all as a means of undoing the psychological trauma of rejection.
Sometimes even a loving marriage and caring children, are not sufficient to supply the answer to the undesirable sensitivities these people experience incessantly.
To all who have been unloved and rejected there but only one sure corrective antidote. The Good Book says: Come to me all you that are weighed down with rejection, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
© Rui Coelho
